"The best umpired game is the game in which the fans cannot recall the umpires who worked it. If they don't recognize you, you can enjoy your dinner knowing you did a perfect job."
"Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is...well, an umpire. "
"Umpire's Heaven is a place where he works third base every game. Home is where the heartache is."
"I knew he was out. I had called him safe. I knew it was a mistake, but I thought it was a correctable mistake. If that means eating crow, I'll take mine medium rare."
"How could he be doing his job when he didn't throw me out of the game after the things I called him?"